Key insights

• 💪 Self-confidence is deeper than projecting an image or faking it till you make it
• ❤️ Unconditional regard and self-worth are critical for self-confidence
• 🎭 Faking confidence may seem attractive due to the status signaling model of self-esteem
• ⚠️ Faking confidence has downsides despite its initial appeal
• 🌟 Real confidence is about being genuine, warm, humble, and having healthy relationships
• 🤝 Moderately high confidence is more attractive than extreme confidence
• 🔑 Self-confidence comes from self-fidelity, not external validation
• ⚖️ Balancing likeability with self-fidelity for attractiveness and relationship satisfaction
• 😌 Practicing self- Fidelity leads to greater self-confidence and is linked to lower anxiety, higher self-esteem, and greater overall happiness

Q&A

• What are the benefits of practicing self-fidelity?

  Practicing self-fidelity leads to greater self-confidence, lower anxiety, higher self-esteem, and greater overall happiness. It involves facing fears, living in alignment with one's true self, and not seeking approval from others.

• Why is balancing likeability with self-fidelity important?

  Balancing likeability with self-fidelity is key for attractiveness and relationship happiness. Authenticity and honesty strengthen relationships, and self-fidelity is crucial for being loved for who we really are.

• Where does self-confidence come from?

  Self-confidence comes from self-fidelity, not external validation. It involves being true to oneself, earning respect, and being authentic in various situations.

• How does self-confidence relate to being better than others?

  Self-confidence is not about being better than others, but about being faithful to oneself. Extreme confidence can signal narcissistic traits, while moderately high confidence is more attractive.

• What is real confidence about?

  Real confidence is about being genuine, warm, humble, and having healthy relationships. It's not about dominating or overbearing behavior.

• Why might faking confidence be attractive but have downsides?

  Faking confidence may seem attractive due to the status signaling model of self-esteem. However, it can lead to disconnection, anxiety, depression, and regret over time despite its initial appeal.

• What is self-confidence about?

  Self-confidence is about deeper self-worth, unconditional regard, being authentic, and true to oneself. It's not about projecting an image or faking it.

• 00:00 Self-confidence is not about projecting an image or faking it till you make it; it's about deeper self-worth and unconditional regard. Faking confidence may seem attractive, but it has downsides.
• 03:16 Faking confidence might work in the short term, but it can lead to disconnection and push people away. Real confidence is about being genuine and humble, not dominating or overbearing.
• 06:38 Self-confidence isn't about being better than others but about being faithful to yourself. Extreme confidence can signal narcissistic traits, while moderately high confidence is more attractive. Self-confidence, or self-fidelity, is about being authentic and true to oneself.
• 10:05 Self-confidence comes from self-fidelity, not external validation. Being true to oneself earns respect and allows for various ways of showing up in the world. The struggle between acceptance and authenticity makes it hard to practice self-fidelity.
• 13:20 Balancing likeability with self-fidelity is key for attractiveness and relationship happiness. Authenticity and honesty strengthen relationships. Self-fidelity is crucial for being loved for who we really are.
• 17:05 Self- Fidelity is the key to stronger relationships and greater self-confidence. It involves being authentic, facing fears, and living in alignment with your true self. Research shows that self- Fidelity leads to lower anxiety, higher self-esteem, and greater overall happiness. However, it's important to balance it with other key principles for deep confidence and lasting connections.